In Search Of Adam


How did I get it?:
Borrowed from Bibliobeth.


Motherless, rootless and unprotected, Jude Williams’ childhood is fractured by the horror and experience of sexual abuse, forcing her to exist somewhere and nowhere in-between childhood and adulthood. Caught within the limitations of her own language and trapped within a family secret, Jude becomes the consequence of her mother’s tragedy. As she moves through the 1980s, Jude’s life is buffeted by choice and destiny and she collects experiences that layer her personal tragedy and plunge her into the darkest of worlds.


I’ve had this book for a while and picked it out of my TBR box to read in October. Given the synopsis I certainly wasn’t expecting a happy read. In Search of Adam is a tough read because it can be incredibly graphic. I think the writing is the strength in this book.

Jude’s story is told very simply, but in an utterly believable way. My heart immediately went out to Jude and I just wanted things to get better for her. It is distressing, so I don’t think this book is for everyone.

I think what was particularly interesting was the way in which Caroline Smailes played with language to help the reader see the world from Jude’s eyes. Lists were used, rhyme and repetition, grammar was also played with. I think the lists attempted to show how Jude had to control her world. Sentences were often fragmented, which can be quite frustrating to read, but really show how Jude had to accept what was happening to her bit by bit.

Caroline Smailes ultimately made me root for Jude and want justice for her. I won’t say what happened because I don’t want to spoil it, but if you’re considering reading this book, read it with an open mind. Be ready to experience some frustrations.

Would I recommend it?:

3 thoughts on “In Search Of Adam

  1. Yay, you finished it already! I was so afraid you weren’t going to get your review up until after November and therefore I might miss it, so this is a great surprise 😀

    Do you think it’s as depressing/emotional of a read as some of the reviewers on Goodreads have made it out to be? Because I really do think it sounds interesting but I’m worried I won’t be able to make it through the whole book.

    • Aw. I’m glad it surprised you. It was an easy to read book in the sense that it’s well written. It is incredibly graphic in places, so I’m not sure that every reader would enjoy it. I would describe it as very bleak. Definitely not one to read if you’re feeling down as it is quite depressing/emotional. I don’t know if that’s really helped you to decide!

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