If I Fall, If I Die

If I Fall, If I Die

How did I get it?:
I bought it from Mr B’s Emporium!


Will has never been outside, at least not since he can remember. And he has certainly never gotten to know anyone other than his mother, a fiercely loving yet wildly eccentric agoraphobe who panics at the thought of opening the front door. Their world is rich and fun- loving—full of art, science experiments, and music—and all confined to their small house.

But Will’s thirst for adventure can’t be contained. Clad in a protective helmet and unsure of how to talk to other kids, he finally ventures outside.  At his new school he meets Jonah, an artsy loner who introduces Will to the high-flying freedoms of skateboarding.  Together, they search for a missing local boy, help a bedraggled vagabond, and evade a dangerous bootlegger.  The adventure is more than Will ever expected, pulling him far from the confines of his closed-off world and into the throes of early adulthood, and all the risks that everyday life offers.   

In buoyant, kinetic prose, Michael Christie has written an emotionally resonant and keenly observed novel about mothers and sons, fears and uncertainties, and the lengths we’ll go for those we love.


I was really looking forward to starting If I Fall, If I Die as I find books centred around mental health fascinating. It could have been a really exciting story line but at times, I felt like this book was a struggle to read. Don’t get me wrong, I would recommend If I Fall, If I Die… I just have to mention that it’s not a fast-paced read.

If I Fall, If I Die centres around Will and his mother Diane. At the start of the story, Will has never left the house. This is due to his mother Diane, being agoraphobic. Due to technology, Will and Diane have never had to leave the house. They can have almost anything delivered to the house and Will can be home schooled. Diane creates a world for Will so that he can learn from the home. Will decides to go outside of the house one day, he meets a boy called Marcus and realises that the outside world isn’t as dangerous as his mother made him think. Will becomes so fearless, which makes Diane more fearful. She knows she can’t protect Will, because she can’t leave the house.

This story is intense. I think Michael Christie created fantastic characters. Will’s mum was fascinating to read about. Their relationship was incredibly complex. The reason why I haven’t rated this book any higher is because I felt that a lot was added to the story that didn’t necessarily deepen the story for me. I wish more had been explored between Will and his mum instead of the second half of the story feeling different than the rest.

Would I recommend it?:

I had mixed feelings about this book but this is an intriguing read about agorophobia with some fantastic characters!

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